Last Friday I hopped into my gas guzzling SUV and headed to my hunting lodge in northern Michigan. I just had to get away from my collection of credit card offers and CNBC telling me, “Buy the dip!” The affirmations that my credit rating was still intact and that Wall Street was a kinder, gentler place were just a little too much. Time for some R&R.

It was after dark when I arrived. A late April snowstorm blanketed the trail as I eased down the hill to the old shack. It was eerily quiet as I got out of my Jeep and unpacked my things. The falling snow muffled the normal sounds one would expect to hear in the woods, but I thought I could distinctly hear a growl as I shut the cabin door behind me.

That night I slept with one eye open and had recurring nightmares of being chased by bears. One particularly “grizzly” looking one kept nipping at my heels as I ran faster and faster, until I came to the edge of a cliff. I woke up just as I jumped off the cliff in my dream. Not a very restful night.

“Okay, okay, I’ve had it,” I sez to myself. “I can’t get any rest, even at the old shack! One way to put the nightmares to rest is to prove them wrong!” So I put on my Carharts and trudged out in the snow to see what I could see.

I didn’t get very far when “bear signs” started to appear. Yup, the real thing. I took some pictures of the tracks just to show you what I mean.

The first set of tracks led me to the old bruin cave, where the bears hibernate. There were definitely signs of a breakout there. A pretty big one, too.

I wandered further along in the woods and began to recognize the location of my nightmare. It was a long hill, ending at a sharp bluff. It was scary to see my dream in living color. Here’s the picture.

“This is too spooky,” I sez to myself. I break into a cold sweat. “My dreams are just too realistic.” Just then, a bear poked his head out of the cave. I snapped a quick shot for evidence, then started running for the SUV. 

There! Now you have to believe me! Too bad I couldn’t get a full facial shot, but the nose sticking out of the cave will just have to do. I know I’m not the best photographer, but why don’t you try snapping a picture of a newly wakened bear. I dare ya!

Well, I arrived at my gas guzzler and flipped the keys into the ignition. Rrrr. Rrrr, rrrrrrrr! Then I noticed that the old Transport had bear tracks on the hood! Does my fuel gauge say empty? Will someone puhleez say this isn’t so?

© 2004 Anthony Cherniawski
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Anthony M. Cherniawski
President and CIO
The Practical Investor, LLC
East Lansing, MI USA
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