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THE
MAGNIFICENT SEVEN Background:
Pull up a chair stranger and l will pour you a tall “Sasparilla” and let’s see if we can spin some tall yarn about the Magnificent Seven (remember Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, et al who defended the village peasants against the bandit raids by Eli Wallach in the 1960s movie of the same name?). We can pass some time together in the hot afternoon sun while waiting for the stagecoach to Purgatory (hear it might be running late today!?): In Part I of the Magnificent Seven, the part of Yul Brynner (Chris) will be played by the 333-week cycle. This is an old and balding cycle that comes from the bondlands of the East and is the “biggest of the bad.” The leader of the Sevens that determines when the gunslingers arrive on the scene to fight the bandits who raid the village. If the bandits raid the village just once too often, beware that “Chris” and the Sevens may eventually take you down. The part of Steve McQueen (Vin) will be played by the 233-week cycle. A brash and sometimes bold cycle from the commodity lands that often goes its own way. Sometimes silent, but when it strikes it can be sudden and deadly. When Vin joins forces with Chris, the two can create untold havoc in the badlands as the other “gunslingers” come together to ride out to meet the bandits. Often recognized by his old battered and stained hat when in town, Vin is a crusty veteran of many gunfights. The part of Charles Bronson (Bernardo) will be played by the 176-week cycle. A wild card that is said to be from the S&P badlands. Nobody touches Bernardo if he is in a bad mood – and Bernardo carries a big stick. Bernardo rarely joins up with other gunslingers. However, when called upon by Chris, Bernardo will “adjust” his schedule to meet up with the other Sevens in the designated town. When Bernardo show up you better bring your lunch with you because it is going to be a “long day” and Bernardo doesn’t take credit cards. It is rumored that Bernardo use to meet with the children of farmers and explained the courage of farmers in the Depression – but that was decades ago and the bandits have since stole much of the farmland. The part of Robert Vaughn (Lee) will be played by the 109-week cycle. Lee is an aging gunfighter that once had no peer but is said to be now losing his touch. Lee knows he may have one last stand left as he sits quietly at the table trying to catch all the flies while getting up enough nerve to join the coming gunfight. Legend has it this gunfighter had a foreign background somewhere – perhaps English or European in his ancestry. Lee is said to be cunning and very fast but unpredictable at times. Lee now lives in fear of that day when it will meet “something” faster and that will be the end. The part of Brad Dexter (Harry Luck) will be played by the 69-week cycle. A quick study who is learning fast and a steady performer both onstage and off-stage. Harry Luck is usually looking for a gunfight several times a year in the village and will join up at a moment’s notice with the other gunfighters in a showdown - just name the place and time. Harry Luck comes from a long line of real gunfighters with solid reputations. The part of James Coburn (Britt) will be played by the 52-week cycle. Britt just threw a knife into the “goldbugs” as they were trying to get away over the fiat fence. Although very fast as a gunslinger, Britt is even faster with throwing a knife in a gunfight – so don’t turn your back on Britt. Britt often appears to be sleeping on the ground by the fiat fence but Britt always has one eye open just waiting for an opportunity for you to make his day – and you better stay away from this cowpoke unless you really know what you are doing. Britt is a loner and often has a different agenda. The part of Horst Buchholz (Chico) will be played by the 40-week cycle. A solid back-up and team player who has been around in big gunfights but at other times does Chico strangely does not show up or comes to the party at the wrong time. Both Chris and Vin sometimes try and convince Chico to stay away from gunfights but Chico always wants a piece of the action. Rumor has it that Chico comes from the currency badlands – and Chico carries some kind of mark on his right gunhand. The part of Eli Wallach (Calvera) as the leader of the Seven Bandits will be played by guess who? The Seven Bandits who ride with Calvera include Sloth (inflation, accounting scandals, UN programs, sundry world politicians, world fiat currencies), Envy (Democrats or is it Republicans this time?, deflation, third world), Gluttony (credit card rates especially against the young, taxes, welfare states), Greed (found on the streets of the village people in all forms and manner of things, gold, stock and bond manipulations, after-hours trading, commodity hoarding, short-selling), Anger (terror, PLO, Al-Qaeda, suicide bombers, WMD), Lust (many “debtors” of the world, “the good, the bad and the ugly”), and Pride (all those who ride into town at the front with Calvera). The Magnificent Seven are not heroes or villains – they are looking for a job that will get them their next meal ticket and as they come together again to ride into that “village” let us see if we can catch a glimpse of them from the past. The quixotic nature of the Magnificent Seven makes for serious to comic fun in our journey through the badlands and towns of the past. Come with us now as we ride back into the past and tell a tale of intrigue, greed, lust and pizza: The Old Wild West: Charts 1 - 5 shows some snapshots of the old dusty towns where the Magnificent Seven (called the DJIA in days gone by) are rumored to have once trod. There is now only sagebrush blowing in the winds, creaking saloon doors, and dusty streets where the gunslingers may have once walked and of the bandits who spoke in hush tones in the back of cigar-filled, hotel rooms. The windows of the old hotel are broken and there still are tales told by old-timers of people who jumped from the windows to escape the Seven Bandits who rode into town one afternoon in late Sept 1929. If one looks hard, one can still see some bullet holes that riddle the buildings where the Magnificent Seven may have fought the Seven Bandits and their army. A sign in the dust in the street below the broken hotel window reads “apples for five cents apiece”. The Modern West: Flash forward to July 2004, Chart 6 presents a computer-aided image of the fictional Magnificent Seven if they were still alive today – but of course, nobody has really seen such “Ghost Riders in the Sky”. The computer aided image is based on tinplates that we have seen from our distant past and may not be historically accurate – and we are just passing the time of day anyway. Of course, the tinplates have decomposed over time so some reconstruction of the color and texture was necessary. Is it possible the Seven Bandits still ride today with Calvera today? “Ghost Riders in the Sky” (Words and Music by Stan Jones (1949)) : “An
old cowpoke went ridin' out one dark and windy day, Ghost Riders in the Sky.
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The
Magnificent Seven is a chronicle about the adventures of 
